My Sweet Cumbrian Monster

Cumbrian Spider

Recently I moved to a room in Galgate (AKA The End of The World) in an old cottage close to the river. One morning I got up at 6.30 to run in the canal. The gods decided to reward my strong will – the canal is the wettest, coldest, darkest and muddiest place one can imagine – with a beautiful sight first thing in the morning. A 4 -inches spider in all is hairy glory.

But I’m a lovable, pacific person. So I took a tupperware which was not mine – obviously – trapped her – it had female vibes – and threw her out of the window. Gently.

Normally I would have screammed as hell at the sight of such a monstruous arachnid – or any arachnid in fact – but when you’ve woken up so early to run you just want to do it and nothing – not even a 4 -inches hairy spider – is going to get on your way.

Next day, she was waiting for me in the same place of our first encounter. The right side of the bathtub.  I decided to call my male flatmate thinking that maybe he could spare me the tension of taking the spider while thinking she can scape at any moment and run with its hairy legs all over my body – brrr. But he turned out to be more scared than me and stood in the toilet’s treshold trembling while I – again – took the spider and threw it out of the window again.

Two days later I discovered TWO identical spiders in the kitchen. One close to the rubbish can and the other one enjoying the views beside the window. I took them out.

The morning after, I opened the door to go out to university… and guess who took the chance to run inside… my friend, the big hairy spider!

I surrendered to the evidence. Our life paths were connected.

Next week I gave the spiders names. They’re an amorous couple and they are called Cordelia and Paco. My landlady says they’re just looking for holes in the house to hibernate and she promised me they won’t go inside my room.

Yesterday I saw a slightly smaller spider in the bathtub again… Cordelia and Paco’s offspring? My heart was full with tenderness and I had to do a strong effort to content the tears.

(Still, I must confess I keep having recurrent arachnid nightmares…)

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